“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit” – Aristotle
It’s been a long while since I’ve updated. I have been struggling with consistency on extra activity outside poker and gym/diet. I haven’t been approaching, I have barely been going out. After my break up with Jennie, the last girl I had more than affection for, I broke up poorly with Erika the Korean. Since then I’ve gone out a couple of times, gotten drunk/high and been with only mediocre girls.
The first girl I’ve been seeing regularly is a 19 year old Chinese Canadian party girl with all of the red flags you can imagine. Took a gap year to travel, multiple partners at a time, lives on campus at a major university, parents not involved. I met her at a club drunk as hell and took her home first night no questions asked. Her body is tight, but her face is meh. I don’t love spending time with her but it serves my ego to know my fuck game is right to have a hood rat coming back for more.
The second is my first Russian girl. She’s a 27 year old professional, very few partners, very traditional. She was married young and had a sexless marriage while the pair built a business, moved here and divorced and is now working full-time. I am bored by her presence but it is refreshing her feminine energy. She cooks for me, feeds me while we watch movies or I play online. Whenever I am with her she never touches her phone, always entirely present when we are together. The exact opposite of a girl born here. She is long and lithe, however it’s becoming clear to me how addicted I am to Asian girls. This girl is sexy by all accounts, I’ve shown her pic to friends and they all approve, but I have no sex drive around her. It’s kind of incredible.
Contrast that to the Korean Erika who was also feminine, present + cared for me, and the fact that I was like a dog in heat around her 3-4x a day in a 8 hour period. Gives me a bit of a shot in the gut because I was content, just bored.
So I have hit a bit of a lonely road complex. I go to the gym and casino, don’t spend a lot of time with friends and if I do go out I’m rarely sober. Garbage in, garbage out. The more I see mediocre girls the more my subconscious believes this is what I deserve. This creates a feedback cycle where I don’t approach girls I am actually excited about. I keep using the excuse that I am leaving soon, I have a one-way ticket to Vietnam in early April.
Consistency is the key to all this. If I get a good sleep, stay sober and aggressive in my pursuit of girls I really like, while also making myself better every day good things will happen.
At the moment it’s almost like I do not want to succeed. I stay up late working on my poker game watching videos, playing online, even when I know I am going out the next day. So then the weekend comes, I am exhausted and I use stimulants and other things to stay energetic and I simply smash mediocre girls where I feel entitled to their affection.
The benefit to this is I know how to act like a king around women. I do this subconsciously with mediocre girls but having this intention with all women, especially hot girls, will exponentially increase my success.
The feedback cycle is something we are all familiar with.
Shy guy sees cute girl on the transit. He thinks about what it would be like to talk to her. He never approaches. She gets off the bus and he wonders what if. His thoughts “I am a shy guy, it’s weird to approach strangers and talk to a cute girl” become his actions (not approaching the cute girl) which manifests the results (no approach, no interaction).
Compare that to a guy who thinks positive. He sees a cute girl and thinks “Why not? It cannot hurt, I am a cool guy who goes after what he wants”. He approaches girl. The result does not even matter in this particular case because his attitude creates a positive feedback loop either way. If he gets a number/date or even just a pleasant conversation his mind reinforces the belief that he is a social guy and attractive. Even if she is unpleasant the belief is “What a poor girl, I hope her day turns out better”. He knows there is nothing wrong with him, because of his thoughts.
I know what I have to start doing (we all do). The hard part is actually doing it.