Authenticity and the 3 Koreans

Over the past month I had gone out on a first date with 3 different korean girls and they all followed relatively the same pattern. The first two Erika and Jiyoun I met during daygame, the third Julia I met on a night out and stopped her and her friend on the street.

The 3 dates followed the same general formula. I picked them up, took them to a quiet cafe/bar, talked and flirted and got to know them. I then bounced them to another location, either my house or a lookout and attempted to drink more with them, and generally met resistance. I try to escalate and get rebuffed, and it felt like I was forcing the whole thing.

I think I may have forced it because I have in my head this ‘roadmap’ that we are supposed to follow to have success. It’s not that I feel uncomfortable doing it, but it doesn’t feel authentic. I think the girls can feel the incongruity with me forcing the issue trying to fuck them, rather than simply enjoying our time and moving things forward. This may be caused by my self image of wanting to be a player.

How each one ended up is with a makeout in my car and 2 girls falling off the map (Jiyoun and Julia). Erika met up with me after some prying. She mentioned  after our first date ‘She did not have fun, does not want to meet again, and did not think I was a nice person’. She was the one I fucked in my car because I got her horny as hell after SO much LMR. After pushing through her resistance I got her out and on this next date I was relaxed and authentic because we had already fucked, so what did I have to lose?

Each girl was intrigued by my ‘danger’ vibe and personality, but I never allowed the soft affectionate side come out until I was on the 2nd date with Erika. I think this is why the other 2 fell off the map.

A similar thing was true with my ex. She knew my confidence was rock solid, but she also felt my affectionate, emotional side because of I opened up to her about a lot of things. Since being more relaxed on my dates with Erika, she has fallen hard for me and I can see it in her eyes when we fuck.

I think I have hit an evolution in my ‘game’ after the break up and these 3 koreans which have helped me realize that the ‘script’ has its uses, but after you get comfortable with yourself and how to connect with girls you can discard it. Like training wheels on a bicycle, I can now stop worrying about the nitty gritty and trust my instinct and experience and move things forward. My authentic self is cocky and edgy enough that I am not worried about too much ‘soft/vulnerable’ side driving girls away.

I mean shit, I am looking to get tattoos, I play poker for a living and I have a degenerate streak from my past (I even dealt drugs for a short time before poker). Why would I be worried about being too boring for a girl?

I feel relaxed and confident with this new assessment. Maybe the break up does have some positives if I keep these lessons with me. My sleep is still haunted a couple times a week, but having a young sexy girl enamoured with me takes the edge off. I find her a touch boring though, but this may be me comparing week 2 vs 10 months with Jennie. Only time will tell, she is already trying to push the boyfriend route on. Good luck with that babygirl.

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2 thoughts on “Authenticity and the 3 Koreans

  1. good stuff, man.

    yeah the more i think about it, ACS is a good template, but really it’s better to look at the whole pickup process as constant push pull between the two poles of attraction (bold, cocky, dangerous, mysterious, aggressive, selfish, self assured, decisive, independent, indifferent) and comfort (safe, emotional, vulnerable, caring, trustworthy, protective, gentle, “real”, human, touching) — and we each have that to different degrees naturally.

    i am really beginning to think that my big flaw is that i don’t do enough attraction, and not just that i don’t do enough attraction in the beginning, but i don’t do enough attraction throught the entire process. i think i am of the old school belief that once i get 3 IOIs, then my attraction work is done. once i get her on a day 2, my attraction work is done. now that may be the case for other more masculine, dangerous men — or more “normal guys” period — but my natural tendency is to be more gentle and caring and soft — it’s not just my temperament and personality, it’s also my body, i am thin, and my voice, which is not deep. plus i am part asian. plus i am artistic.

    so all these factors make me fall much more on the “feminine” part of the spectrum, not on the “normal” part of the spectrum, or on the masculine part of the spectrum. someone like krauser is much more masculine by default, so that part is mostly taken care of. he needs to work more on comfort maybe. or someone like you, you seem to have that masculine edge taken care of, you just can’t hide it or sabotage it, you gotta flaunt it “effortlessly”.

    on the other hand, i gotta work my masculine side more. i mean, apart from going to the gym etc., i gotta come off as much more cocky funny, decisive, and do more sexual spikes. i think i slip to easily into nice, gentle guy mode. maybe not all out “nice guy” who is hiding his cock, but gentle guy who is not a sexual threat.

    i am going back to more cocky funny, like in the beginning.

  2. Pingback: I gotta be more cocky funny | Rivelino's Diary

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