Over the past month I had gone out on a first date with 3 different korean girls and they all followed relatively the same pattern. The first two Erika and Jiyoun I met during daygame, the third Julia I met on a night out and stopped her and her friend on the street.
The 3 dates followed the same general formula. I picked them up, took them to a quiet cafe/bar, talked and flirted and got to know them. I then bounced them to another location, either my house or a lookout and attempted to drink more with them, and generally met resistance. I try to escalate and get rebuffed, and it felt like I was forcing the whole thing.
I think I may have forced it because I have in my head this ‘roadmap’ that we are supposed to follow to have success. It’s not that I feel uncomfortable doing it, but it doesn’t feel authentic. I think the girls can feel the incongruity with me forcing the issue trying to fuck them, rather than simply enjoying our time and moving things forward. This may be caused by my self image of wanting to be a player.
How each one ended up is with a makeout in my car and 2 girls falling off the map (Jiyoun and Julia). Erika met up with me after some prying. She mentioned after our first date ‘She did not have fun, does not want to meet again, and did not think I was a nice person’. She was the one I fucked in my car because I got her horny as hell after SO much LMR. After pushing through her resistance I got her out and on this next date I was relaxed and authentic because we had already fucked, so what did I have to lose?
Each girl was intrigued by my ‘danger’ vibe and personality, but I never allowed the soft affectionate side come out until I was on the 2nd date with Erika. I think this is why the other 2 fell off the map.
A similar thing was true with my ex. She knew my confidence was rock solid, but she also felt my affectionate, emotional side because of I opened up to her about a lot of things. Since being more relaxed on my dates with Erika, she has fallen hard for me and I can see it in her eyes when we fuck.
I think I have hit an evolution in my ‘game’ after the break up and these 3 koreans which have helped me realize that the ‘script’ has its uses, but after you get comfortable with yourself and how to connect with girls you can discard it. Like training wheels on a bicycle, I can now stop worrying about the nitty gritty and trust my instinct and experience and move things forward. My authentic self is cocky and edgy enough that I am not worried about too much ‘soft/vulnerable’ side driving girls away.
I mean shit, I am looking to get tattoos, I play poker for a living and I have a degenerate streak from my past (I even dealt drugs for a short time before poker). Why would I be worried about being too boring for a girl?
I feel relaxed and confident with this new assessment. Maybe the break up does have some positives if I keep these lessons with me. My sleep is still haunted a couple times a week, but having a young sexy girl enamoured with me takes the edge off. I find her a touch boring though, but this may be me comparing week 2 vs 10 months with Jennie. Only time will tell, she is already trying to push the boyfriend route on. Good luck with that babygirl.